"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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