I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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