Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
