The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
