you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize