there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
