I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
