I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you traded sex for a burrito?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
