apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
