She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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