What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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