You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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