Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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