And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
