Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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