So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
