Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
