She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
