Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
