Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
