there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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