i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I understand Curling. That high.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
