afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize