i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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