i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
