my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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