He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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