just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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