Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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