i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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