Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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