mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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