she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
