does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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