your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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