there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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