some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
there is glitter all over my balls
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