I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
