Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize