She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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