I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
