is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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