I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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