Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
