I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
