id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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