Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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