Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
