Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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