remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize