Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
