You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
