I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
