To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
foreskin is a definite game changer
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
