So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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