need another drink. this is the easiest way
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
