is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
