Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
