He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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