So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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